Babysitting: Avengers Style
by Christy C
Summary: Tony and Steve haven't had a lot of luck when deciding babysitters for Peter. So, who better than Earth's Mightiest Heroes? Superfamily. Superhusbands. Stony. Oneshot. Prompt fill.


It wasn't really a tough decision. After the last few babysitters…

The teenage bubblegum popper who stole Steve's underwear and sold them online. Tony proceeded to sue her.

The dude who greeted them with a 'Hey, do you have liters? Mine ran out of fluid and I need something to light my bong.' Tony did not even let him in the house.

The final straw was the seemingly innocent young lady who turned out to be Enchantress and kidnapped Peter. Tony actually didn't get a chance to do anything to her. And had yet to see her again to this very day. (Loki may not enjoy the Avengers' company, but he loved his 'nephew' Peter.)

So. It wasn't really a tough decision to let Thor, Clint, Bruce, and Natasha babysit for them on their anniversary.

It should have been.

"Bruce! Peter likes you better than he likes me! Therefore, you should take him." Natasha gently pushed Peter into the scientist's arms. (Not so) oddly enough, Natasha did not fit the stereotype of the average woman and she did not do well with children.

Bruce shifted slightly, moving Peter to his shoulder. He bounced in place, frowning. "I don't understand why he hasn't stopped crying yet."

"Maybe he has to be changed." Clint offered from the ceiling. The instant Tony and Steve had shared that they got to be babysitters, he had disappeared into the ceiling tiles.

"Well then, you can come down and change him." Natasha shot at the ceiling. She received a snort in reply. Her eyes narrowed dangerously. Bruce and Thor watched warily as she jumped onto the couch, easily lifting one of the ceiling tiles and hoisting herself in.

After a few seconds, a bit of scuffling, and a very unmanly yelp from Clint, the archer dropped ungracefully onto the couch. Natasha gracefully landed next to him, hopping down and approaching Bruce once again.

"What are we going to do?" she questioned. "This should not be this difficult."

"Verily. Perhaps we are not made out for this sort of mission…perhaps we should bring this job to the Director?" Thor questioned innocently. Natasha snorted and Clint burst into a fit of loud laughter.

"Oh god. Can you just imagine?" Clint covered an eye, "Go the fuck to sleep Stark's demon!" he mimed Fury's voice.

"Clint! Language!" Bruce hissed, bouncing Peter in place.

Peter.

Who was still screaming loudly in his ear.

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Someone has to take him. Now." Bruce growled. Large hands released his hold on Peter and he opened his eyes to see Thor holding the baby in his arms, dwarfing the screamer. Not that it stopped the screaming. "I have to go calm down." Bruce disappeared into his lab. Natasha blinked.

"I have to go help him calm down." She followed him quickly. Clint snorted, jumping to his feet.

"Sneaky little devils. Of course they manage to get out of it, leaving us to take care of Stark's kid." Thor furrowed his brow at Clint.

"You are aware that he is also Steve's child as well, correct?" Thor checked. Clint rolled his eyes.

"Of course I know. That doesn't mean the kid knows that. He acts like Tony way more than he acts like Steve. He's a little attention whore." Clint swiped Peter from Thor, holding him in the air, "Right? Right little attention whore?" he babied his voice up.

"What is it you are doing Barton?" Thor and Clint stiffened instinctually. Being caught by him was the worst thing that could have ever happened. Of all the people, out of both his parents, why did it have to be him?

_Peter's Godfather._

"Barton?" Coulson repeated, voice as dry as usual, with just a hint of coldness in it.

"I was…um…just…holding…." Coulson took the screaming child from Clint, still staring coldly at him. He rocked his arms once and Peter quieted. Thor and Clint's eyes widened.

"What are you doing here Coulson?" Clint questioned conversationally, nervously inching behind Thor, who noticed and stepped away. Clint spared him a glare full of betrayal.

"Steve decided, rightfully so, that he was worried about how you guys would handle taking care of Peter by yourself. And he asked me to check up on you." Coulson explained. Clint bristled.

"Well, we're handling it!" Clint carefully pulled Peter from Coulson's arms. "Shoo, shoo!" Clint waved him off. Coulson raised an eyebrow, but complied, leaving them alone with Peter once again.

Just in time for the baby to start crying again.

"Friend Clint…why did you send away the Son of Coul?" Thor questioned. Clint stared down at the crying baby.

"I honestly have no idea Thor…" he muttered, bouncing Peter back and forth.

* * *

"You are not the least bit worried Tony?" Steve questioned as they exited the car. Tony slammed his door, shrugging.

"I think if they can handle psychos trying to take over the world on a weekly basis, then they can handle a baby for a few hours." He placated Steve. Steve shook his head.

"I sent Phil to check up on them a few hours ago, but he never got back to me…" Steve trailed off, obviously still worried. Tony snorted.

"Well then, everything is definitely fine if super nanny incarnated is there." Steve slowly nodded his head.

"That's true." He agreed, worries relieved.

For now.

"Oh my god!" Tony shouted as he exited the elevator, and Steve ran into his back as he stopped quickly. Steve glanced around, eyes wide, looking for danger. Steve paused after a few moments, before glaring down at Tony.

Tony smirked back up at him.

"I'm sorry, did you think something was wrong?" Tony asked innocently. Steve scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Where are they?" Steve asked, ignoring his husband's trick. He made his way to Peter's room, only to find it empty.

"Jarvis?" Tony left the question unsaid.

"The second guest bedroom sir."

They quickly made their way in that direction, only to freeze in the doorway.

"Awwwwwwwwww." Steve cooed quietly. Tony shook his head.

In the middle of the bed, Peter slept soundly. To his left, Natasha slept soundly, Bruce next to her, arm thrown carelessly over both her and Peter. To his right, Clint snored, while Thor snored even louder next to him.

"They've been sleeping for a long time."

Tony and Steve both jumped, before spotting Coulson in the corner. Tony scowled, unhappy with being surprised.

"You know, your habit of watching people sleep is creepy. I can get you counciling if you'd like?" Tony offered snidely, ignored Steve's dirty look. And to make things even worse…

Coulson just smirked.

* * *

**_R & R._**


End file.
